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BEING A MOTHER
This will be the beginning of a series of articles on baby and
childcare for mothers-to-be and for inexperienced young Moms.
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10 Commandments To be a Best
Mom
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Be Yourself – That’s Best
For Your Child
- The Baby Is His Too!
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Travelling With Your Baby
10 Commandments to be a best Mom
1) Remember your baby is not born to take you under its thumb,
but is a friendly and affectionate human being.
2) Don’t be afraid to feed her when you think she’s really hungry.
If you are mistaken, she will merely refuse to take much.
3) Don’t be afraid to respond to her needs as long as they are
not too demanding.
4) With minimum guidance from you, your baby will fall into the
family pattern of sleeping and eating habits.
5) There is nothing like a perfect baby – each child has a different
rate of development and a different temperament.
6) Appreciate your child - whether quiet, clumsy, noisy, mischievous,
slow or fast – such children will grow up into confident individuals.
7) Your baby is not the delicate picture she makes out to be –
s/he is born with fighter survival instincts.
8) Don’t take too seriously what neighbours say or listen to old
wives tales.
9) Establish a solid relationship and mutual trust in the early
stages itself.
10) Lastly, only you know what’s best for your baby.
Be Yourself – that’s best for your child
Most working Moms feel physically and emotionally drained just
at the thought of ‘how much’ and ‘how much more’ they have to do
for their child from love, understanding and patience to cleaning
diapers and career guidance. Don’t try too hard – you are human
too. Just do what comes naturally to you. Each child is born with
a different temperament, which you cannot change overnight. Give
your child the freedom s/he needs to develop into a capable and
independent individual.
Good-hearted parents who are not afraid to be firm when it is necessary,
can get good results with either moderate strictness or permissiveness.
The real issue is what spirit you put into managing your child and
what attitude is engendered in the child as a result. The calmer
a parent you are, it reflects better on your child.
Natural loving care is hundred times more valuable than following
instruction on ‘How to care for your child’ from your neighbours
or relatives.
Most of you young working mothers might feel guilty that you do
not spend enough time with your child. If a career is your decision,
then give quality time to your child, rather than worrying about
quantity time.
The Baby is his too!
Most mothers shy away from involving the father in nappy changing,
bathing or feeding the baby. Is the father not a parent too, I ask?
He is as responsible for your child as you are. Making him a part
of child rearing builds a deeper bond between the two of you and
the child.
In a city like Mumbai, where most of the women are working and in
the peak of their careers when they have their child, another pair
of helping hands will be a welcome relief. No woman is a born mother
– she learns immediately out of need. A father cannot wait in hope
that one day that ‘great learning experience’ will dawn on him.
In child care, fathers can give bottles and solid foods, change
diapers and clothes, wipe tears and noses, bathe and put to bed
(make sure they have not gone to sleep themselves and the child
is still in the bath), read stories, fix toys and break quarrels.
They can also participate in a whole gamut of domestic work: shopping,
food preparation, cooking, serving dishes, laundry, house cleaning,
etc.
Most men like to pretend that they are the ‘Limca Ad. Campaign
Man’ – when asked by his wife to pick the children from school,
the Limca Man (Saif Ali Khan) brings flowers for his wife instead.
Only men cannot fathom between ‘Phool’ (flowers) and ‘School.’
Don’t get disheartened, everyone makes mistakes. Or be prepared
to take on all household and outdoor tasks yourself. Give room
for imperfections, that is the only way you will get HIS help.
Journey with a bundle of joy
Travelling with your baby can be fun, if you want it to be. S/he
is definitely going to stir a lot of attention, pass him/her around
and take that needed break. Everyone is gentle with a baby and will
enjoy the bundle of joy that s/he is.
Keep yourself well armed for the journey. Buy prepared, ready to
use formula and disposable bottles with disposable nipples. They
do not have to be washed or refrigerated. Carry things that your
baby likes best to eat and digests more easily. It is better to
feed small amounts at frequent intervals.
If buying food from stations and nearby stores or bakeries, avoid
cakes and pastries with moist fillings, milk puddings, cold meats,
cold fish, creamy salad dressings (including salads and sandwiches
that contain them). These are the foods that are most easily contaminated
with poisonous bacteria if carelessly handled or not properly refrigerated.
Better stick to hot foods, fruit that you peel yourself and store
milk in separate containers. Always carry boiled or mineral water
with you. A small medicine kit will also come in handy.
Now, sit back and enjoy the journey.
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